I accidentally tuned in to Fox 11 tonight, which as always is followed by "were we fair and balanced?" In a word, no. In several dozen words. No way, not at all, absolutely not.... and I could and will go on. So I will write this as if addressed to them, but it's addressed to all readers.
As you may have noticed this community is divided about that "other guy" you mentioned at the end of your "news" cast. That you would not even mention it speaks volumes to the amount of pressure Packers management is placing on local media, and the fact that you are still following Ari Fleischer's (Bush's ex Press Secretary) playbook. Well, mentioned or not, that "other guy" has a name, one many of us here in Green Bay and elsewhere still hold in great esteem. The name is Brett Favre, of course. You know, the guy who brought us out of decades of mediocrity, to which we have quickly returned since the trio of traitors, Thompson, McCarthy and Murphy and their chosen "leader" Aaron Rodgers, took over. Make no mistake about it, they drove Favre out of town only in part by making him compete with someone so far beneath him in stature and talent that it could only be seen as a boot in the ...rear end. It was not in any way Favre's choice to leave Green Bay and any thinking person with even the most basic knowledge of what really happened behind the scenes knows it.
So in your purported "balanced" coverage, one hopes you remember us who honor Brett Favre as the man without whom there would be no Holmgren Way, no fancy improved stadium and training facility, no Reggie White in a Packers jersey, no return to Lambeau Field for the Lombardi Trophy, no return to glory at all for the Packers...too many of whom came here at all simply because of that "other guy" to mention here by name. Of course Ron Wolf deserves great credit in this regard too. If only he had stayed with the team a few more years; this all would have been avoided. Having read and seen many diplomatically worded interviews, I think he would have handled the situation FAR differently, and would have stayed had he known the carnage to come. All he worked to build is now gone mostly due to Thompson's ego and the cowardice of his sidekicks McCarthy and Murphy. Wolf being back in town shows some promise. We can only hope he stays and Thompson GO PACK GOES!
Make no mistake, we are no less "real" Packers fans for our continued support of Favre and our utter disdain for those who carelessly tarnish an image long cherished and maintained here since the early 20th century. Call it old fashioned, call it tough love, call it what you will. The team that plays out of Lambeau Field will not be "our" Packers, the REAL Packers, until we who allegedly own them drive the said trio of traitors out of town and demand better management for the team and for the players who play here. Who is going to trust this bunch of bozos after what they did to Favre? I had to cringe last weekend when Henderson so flippantly said he intends to end his career in Green Bay. I know he makes tons more money than I ever will as a mere RN with the life and death of critically ill and/or extremely premature infants in my hands 12 hours a day, but my heart just went out to him when he said that. How naive! Is he deaf, dumb, blind? Have they also hired a full time brain washer? Are they making the players listen to subliminal messages in their sleep during training camp? Seriously! How could he say something so STUPID! I couldn't help but remember a younger and not yet disillusioned Brett Favre jubilantly saying the very same thing...so full of love for his team mates and so full of faith in the staff and US! ...and we see exactly how that turned out. Now a bunch of short sighted people with issues I cannot even begin to understand--want to let him down too after everyone else has, after everything he's done, after all he's given, after all the pain he will suffer for the rest of his life. Yes, he's rich and getting richer, but NO amount of money makes up for living in pain 24/7/365...BELIEVE IT. I am there. I know. Anyway, we see how far Favre's faith got him. These ***expletive deleted*** can try to spin their despicable treatment of Favre any way they want, but even with G. W. Bush's ex Press Secretary working for you, you can only spin so far before you just wind up running yourself around in tighter and tighter circles until you can't spin any longer. I'd say this bunch has reached that point. The truth is out. Only the purposely blind and bitter refuse to see it.
And as you choose to cover the booers (boors) and haters ad nauseam rather than those of us welcoming Favre home as a returning hero, focusing only on them as they scream bleeped out obscenity and invective and insult the man they purported to admire a couple years ago in some lame "what have you done for me lately" mentality, remember there are just as many of us, probably more, who know better. We will not welcome Brett Favre back to Lambeau Field with boos and cat calls but with cheers and RESPECT and with the gratitude we all owe this man for all he brought us for all the years he played his body, heart and soul out for us and for the game, for his team mates, and to return Green Bay to glory it had not seen since the 1960's. That's not the dramatically salacious and insulting spin I'm sure the Packers organization is pressing HARD on local media "for the good of the team" but it's the truth, and I think the truth has a role to play here, even on Fox 11 "newsertainment". So as you look for the negatives, remember Favre fans will be at Lambeau Field and gathered in our homes and other venues cheering him on for as long as our voices last, rejoicing in each touchdown pass and every time "Bulletin Board" Barnett or anyone else blows a chance to "lay a hit" on #4. We'll be remembering, always and forever, when we didn't have to cheer for the VIKINGS to do what's best for the Packers and mourning what was never more richly deserved but will now never be. Down deep we'll all, boo birds in denial, and those of us with the intestinal fortitude to cheer Favre as he deserves, be wishing Packers management had had the decency and wisdom to keep Favre here where he belongs, where he could have shared his talent as player, mentor and maybe someday coach, because he loves this game and he is a natural leader and an example to anyone who really loves the game of football. The rest is just media being media, doing their best to sell their product at any cost, even if that cost is the reputation of someone they love, or love to hate because they will never be him.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Family Note
To 94 and 97 if you're seeing this, next week we'll finally be scattering Daddy's ashes on the Hill/Mountain where he can be watching over you as he wished. I'm sorry it took me so long to let him go, but where he really lives on is in our hearts and memories anyway, right? We are then going to Door County to scatter Grandma and Grampa's ashes from the ferry that goes to Washington Island. We'll be sending along some cosmos flowers, ones carried forward year to year from the seeds from Grampa's garden, at both places and Cousin Ben will play Taps for Grampa because he was in the Korean war. I'll carry Daddy's drum sticks along on the ferry too, but we won't be throwing those anywhere because we want to keep them for you girls. We all love you and miss you so much and wish we could see you. Please remember Daddy's love is always surrounding you, every minute of every day and night and the magic he gave you; the music and silly times and all the fun is still inside you to share with the people in your lives.
Lots of love and hugs until you can come see us again!
Michelle, Dillon, Ben & Abby
Lots of love and hugs until you can come see us again!
Michelle, Dillon, Ben & Abby
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Multiple Motives for Childress?
PS to the post below (yes, I know that's backward) regarding the apparent confusion among some (bitter cynics) in the media: Could it possibly be, just perhaps, that since Childress had coached in Wisconsin (UW Madison) when Favre was with the Packers in the 90's, and knew his CHARACTER and WORK ETHIC, and LEADERSHIP ABILITY...maybe just maybe could it be that he knew that was the exact combination, the last piece of the puzzle the Vikings needed to complete their team? Could it not also be that there was something personal at stake for the coach on behalf of the player he came to admire, man to man...a man who DESERVED BETTER than what he got from the new (mis)management in Green Bay? Is decency so out of date and completely so out of the realm of reality that it cannot even be considered a part of the equation here? Is it really SO hard to believe that no one will even give it a single thought, a whisper, a half-laughing mumbled humorous aside as the camera and mic fade even? Ugh... What a world.
Real Packers Fans Know Who to Blame
Watching ESPN at 1AM Central time early August 19, I am thinking of the commentator's inability to understand Brett Favre's statement that "true Packers fans will understand my decision". WE DO! Seriously, they (ESPN and the media in general) think we're all a bunch of yokels up here who don't understand the game (despite the fact that the local NBC poll showed 87% of us are certain the Vikings will win both games against the Packers this season). They actually believe we think Brett had some SAY about whether he got to stay in Green Bay or not, as if they hadn't decided in the off season to go with "wonder boy" Rodgers who took the Packers from a playoff contending team with Favre to a mediocre one without him. That boy needs to stop worrying LESS about his "beard" of the moment (and you may apply to that any meaning you wish) and start worrying more about playing football. Actually, I couldn't be happier with Boy Rodgers' consistently average play...because the better Favre does now in Minnesota and the more average Rodgers remains, AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS AS UNDERSTUDY TO THE BEST OF THE BEST no less, the sooner the powers that be (whoever they are are...it's certainly not the people of Green Bay, as so often referred to in romanticized versions of "Title Town") are gonna WAKE UP!!! Look, I surely can't speak for Favre, but I think what he's getting at is that he loves the game, and if he is able to play, he has every right to. It's that simple. HE WANTED TO STAY HERE and was UNCEREMONIOUSLY ushered out of town like some training camp washout, not the HERO he is to Green Bay, and believe me, I do NOT use that term loosely--in fact I use that word for exactly TWO people in the world and that other is a long time Marine. I have bled green and gold for more years than I care to admit, yet cannot help but hope Favre's deserved success in Minnesota proves that Ted Thompson, Mike McCarthy and Mark Murphy are a trio of traitors who brought dishonor and disgrace to Green Bay and OUR WAY of doing things in this city--a way we "older" people (some a bit older than Favre even) hold dear. We are not fair weather fans. We are not boo birds. WE REMEMBER. We are not "but what have you done for me lately" people. We do not quickly forget our heroes, or worse, plot their downfall behind their backs in behind-the-scenes machinations, one smiling in his face as the other stealthily stabs him in the back. Ted Thompson has undone what Ron Wolf took YEARS and Brett Favre spent his youth, energy, and trite as it may sound, blood sweat and tears to build. Brett should still be HERE, playing as long as he can, then coaching and sharing the knowledge of his long and illustrious career...sharing all he has learned, not with a rival, but with US! It is not HE who robbed us of that chance, it is Ted Thompson! It is Mike McCarthy! It is Mark Murphy! Blame them! Blame them!
Friday, August 7, 2009
We NEED Medical Care For All NOW!
The history of legislation is that the longer it lingers in committee the more faults are found, the more fear mongering can be done by the other side, and the more diluted the resulting legislation becomes...if it "becomes" at all. Reading blogs and news, comments and tweets on the internets (gotta love ol' GW--like HELL I do) I find myself repeatedly saying some version of the following, so I might as well say it here too.
As a nurse I am shamed and sickened to know we are the only supposedly civilized nation in the world not to provide health care to our citizens. Insurance and the pharmaceutical industry profiteers, who spend far more on lobby efforts and advertising than they do on research and patient care, the people entrusted with our health care, have stooped to paying people to agitate and confuse people at town hall meetings...using scare tactics to frighten people into thinking we cannot afford to provide health care to our people.
"I'm scared...how can we afford this...we're already in a depression," an overwrought woman cries out in fraudulent anguish. Political figures are LYNCHED in effigy, and the racial statement there is unmistakable. It is disgusting, disheartening and ultimately distracting.
"Why do we have to have less health care so y'all can have some," another elderly woman labors to say, apparently blind to the fact that her MEDICARE is that socialized medicine she is supposedly so soundly against, and she is not going to lose anything if insurance is better regulated. In some states one insurance company owns 80% of the Medicare pie, leaving seniors and the disabled with little in the way of true options.
Not only is Fox "news" (two words which in no universe belong together) convincing people that a public option equates with a single payer system, but the very providers and politicians who should be honor bound as well as legally bound to tell the truth to the American people are purposely muddying the waters and creating fear and insecurity in people who already function under the burden of too much of both already! It's so disheartening, personally and professionally.
The health care industry has become the death for profit industry as insurers delay care until people are dead or past hope of cure, or simply outright refuse to provide care paid for in good faith. I must take just a moment to pat myself on the back here, as I could be making a LOT more money, working far more humane hours, no weekends, no holidays and no nights if I worked for the enemy-the insurance industry, but I have refused their repeated attempts to lure me over to the dark side. Yay me, but let us continue.
WE (as in we the people) MUST (through pressuring our representatives and the White House) regulate the insurance industry and put the power back in the hands of the people and health care providers, not the greedy industries seeking to rake in more blood money. We can EASILY (okay, maybe not easily, but it's doable) pay for health care for all by cutting the insanely enormous profits these corporations make and by concentrating on health care rather than waging unnecessary wars of choice, like, say, Iraq for one example from the past (mis)administration.
That war not only cost us trillions of dollars and created monster mercenary companies like Blackwater (now named Xe, pronounced "z") members (no pun intended) of which raped, murdered and drugged their way through Iraq making the word "Crusades" sound tame in comparison. What we truly cannot afford are wars like Iraq, a war of choice which destabilized an entire region and which also tragically left an entire generation of walking wounded, our finest, our bravest, our most self-sacrificing in need of intensive and long term health care they are NOT getting even though they deserve it most. It IS all connected, and it is a subject I feel to the very marrow of my bones. THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN WE HAVE GIVEN THEM FOR WHAT THEY HAVE GIVEN FOR US! Health care is only the most basic of things they should be able to expect, not have to scrape and be forced to depend upon fund raisers for!
We must get our priorities in order. It is time for President Obama, whose wife was unfortunately a hospital administrator, which gives me great pause, to keep his promise and get us health care for all, NOW! The longer we put it off, the less likely we are to succeed. We can fine tune it later. Fear feeds upon itself, and no one is better at fear mongering than the republican party!
Now please, write, call, put a sign in your yard, send a letter to the editor of your local right wing rag...do something to counter this bought and paid for effort by the insurance and pharmaceutical industry and their toadies, the republicans and blue dog democrats. You'll feel so much better...I promise! I wouldn't lie to you, I'm a nurse.
As a nurse I am shamed and sickened to know we are the only supposedly civilized nation in the world not to provide health care to our citizens. Insurance and the pharmaceutical industry profiteers, who spend far more on lobby efforts and advertising than they do on research and patient care, the people entrusted with our health care, have stooped to paying people to agitate and confuse people at town hall meetings...using scare tactics to frighten people into thinking we cannot afford to provide health care to our people.
"I'm scared...how can we afford this...we're already in a depression," an overwrought woman cries out in fraudulent anguish. Political figures are LYNCHED in effigy, and the racial statement there is unmistakable. It is disgusting, disheartening and ultimately distracting.
"Why do we have to have less health care so y'all can have some," another elderly woman labors to say, apparently blind to the fact that her MEDICARE is that socialized medicine she is supposedly so soundly against, and she is not going to lose anything if insurance is better regulated. In some states one insurance company owns 80% of the Medicare pie, leaving seniors and the disabled with little in the way of true options.
Not only is Fox "news" (two words which in no universe belong together) convincing people that a public option equates with a single payer system, but the very providers and politicians who should be honor bound as well as legally bound to tell the truth to the American people are purposely muddying the waters and creating fear and insecurity in people who already function under the burden of too much of both already! It's so disheartening, personally and professionally.
The health care industry has become the death for profit industry as insurers delay care until people are dead or past hope of cure, or simply outright refuse to provide care paid for in good faith. I must take just a moment to pat myself on the back here, as I could be making a LOT more money, working far more humane hours, no weekends, no holidays and no nights if I worked for the enemy-the insurance industry, but I have refused their repeated attempts to lure me over to the dark side. Yay me, but let us continue.
WE (as in we the people) MUST (through pressuring our representatives and the White House) regulate the insurance industry and put the power back in the hands of the people and health care providers, not the greedy industries seeking to rake in more blood money. We can EASILY (okay, maybe not easily, but it's doable) pay for health care for all by cutting the insanely enormous profits these corporations make and by concentrating on health care rather than waging unnecessary wars of choice, like, say, Iraq for one example from the past (mis)administration.
That war not only cost us trillions of dollars and created monster mercenary companies like Blackwater (now named Xe, pronounced "z") members (no pun intended) of which raped, murdered and drugged their way through Iraq making the word "Crusades" sound tame in comparison. What we truly cannot afford are wars like Iraq, a war of choice which destabilized an entire region and which also tragically left an entire generation of walking wounded, our finest, our bravest, our most self-sacrificing in need of intensive and long term health care they are NOT getting even though they deserve it most. It IS all connected, and it is a subject I feel to the very marrow of my bones. THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN WE HAVE GIVEN THEM FOR WHAT THEY HAVE GIVEN FOR US! Health care is only the most basic of things they should be able to expect, not have to scrape and be forced to depend upon fund raisers for!
We must get our priorities in order. It is time for President Obama, whose wife was unfortunately a hospital administrator, which gives me great pause, to keep his promise and get us health care for all, NOW! The longer we put it off, the less likely we are to succeed. We can fine tune it later. Fear feeds upon itself, and no one is better at fear mongering than the republican party!
Now please, write, call, put a sign in your yard, send a letter to the editor of your local right wing rag...do something to counter this bought and paid for effort by the insurance and pharmaceutical industry and their toadies, the republicans and blue dog democrats. You'll feel so much better...I promise! I wouldn't lie to you, I'm a nurse.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
In defense of "fear of comittment"
By gender, I suppose I should be opposed to the oft dreaded words "I have an issue with committing." I have heard those chilling words, and my initial response was far from positive. Having had years since that unhappy event (nonevent) to reflect on this Venus vs Mars issue I must admit to a change in perspective.
I've seen a little more of life since then, and having seen the disastrous effects of the opposite of that fear of commitment thing, which I'll call the "too quick to jump in" response, or maybe I could call it the "I'd better latch on to this and hold on with all my might before it disappears into the ether" response, or just the dreaded "rebound," I'm thinking maybe the person who feared (and shall remain anonymous here) had the right idea.
True, life is indeed short...far shorter than I could have ever imagined for some very important people. We can all relate to that, no doubt. The "sea change" for me came when I realized that I can now, even though I'm older and therefore have less time than I would like for caution, understand the desire, given the shortness of life, to want to wring every bit of experience we can out of it. In that case the person in mortal fear of committing is best left to his/her own devices, because they will never willingly settle down. It's unfair to ask it of them. It is hardly fair to meet a "free spirit" and promptly wish to cage it, after all, and if you do succeed in caging such a being, it will become either feral or pathetic, but will never remain what it was before. When intrigued with such a person, have fun and move on, just as they will...and if you are not able to do that, find someone a little less exciting and a lot more reliable. If you are truly lucky, you will find someone who is a little bit exciting and unpredictable yet utterly dependable...that oh so perfect mixture of good and bad sure to keep things interesting for decades. It's a rare creature indeed, but I know it exists. I've seen it, in the mirror and elsewhere. But don't spin your wheels (forgive the mixed metaphors I'm sure to engage in here) wishing for the impossible--what every immature person dreams of--the BAD BOY (or girl) turned docile by love. That only happens at the very end of bodice ripper novels, and the reason it happens at the end is that there is absolutely nowhere to go after that. It doesn't exist, even in the fantasies of the most gifted of writers.
Anyway, returning to the fear issue; I have also become intimately acquainted with self-doubt, that insidious virus of the psyche that whispers to us that we may not measure up to some loved-one's expectations...that we are on too high a pedestal...that we'll make total asses of ourselves when we fall off. Bear in mind the loved-one probably has equal fears and just as many little issues as you do, so if that's all that's wrong it's time to ditch the excessive caution and move forward together in life. Live happily ever after and be grateful for every precious moment you share, because even happily ever after can be fleeting and gone too soon.
Unfortunately, life has a way of inflicting deeper pains and harder experiences, and therein lie the situations I most want to address here.
Men often get a bad rap for using fear of commitment as an excuse to keep looking, keep hoping to find the greener grass promised in that next feminine pasture, but in my opinion that view is a little shallow and self-serving. A woman, upon feeling scorned by his desire to avoid a "forever" relationship and keep searching for the ephemeral perfect woman is only getting half the message right if she's chosen the man in question wisely. I'm definitely not talking about the kind of guy who is little more than a serial one night stand, with no respect or feeling for his "prey". Those kind of people exist in male and female form, and their psychological issues are beyond any one person's ability to mend, no matter how well intentioned they may be in making the effort.
I've tried to "love someone well" and failed miserably. I tried to "fix" someone with poor self esteem, a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect who never learned to forgive himself, anyone else, or the whole effing world. I felt conflicting feelings of anger and pity for the guy, neither of which are particularly attractive. I honestly thought if I tried hard enough I could "love away" the hurts of his abusive childhood and the many other wrongs life had done him. It was only years later that I realized how supremely arrogant I was in my sure belief that I could somehow magically love all his pain (and the behaviors I attributed to that pain) away. Who did I think I was, Super-woman? ((Please, self, get a grip. You may be good, but you're not THAT good!)) No one is. Sticky-sweet, happily ever after (meaning after she gives up her entire life and all her personal hopes and dreams) chick flick plots aside, the only way any person (self) can mend those kinds of hurts, the ones carried so deep and so long we no longer even realize they're there, is by learning self-love. ((And no I don't mean the x-rated variety, smart asses, though that too can be extremely therapeutic. ***grin***))
It's twisted, but the only feelings a relationship in which one person tries to "mend" the other engenders are more self-loathing, the certainty that there must be something terribly wrong with anyone willing to love the "victim" in question, and his or her resulting absolute dedication to proving that to be true. What results is persistent undermining of the self-confidence of the nurturer in an effort to create some kind of order in the chaos of the broken person's mind. Simply put it's that relationship we've all had or if we're fortunate, just witnessed, in which the object of Pollyanna's love treats her like absolute dirt, to put it nicely. The observer sees with absolute clarity the fact that the guy is working hard to tear down his partner in order to push his own self-esteem higher. It's ugly, and with extremely stubborn people, these mutually destructive relationships can last for years, and for some poor souls, a lifetime...a lifetime for both of ruined holidays, shattered dreams and too often an abused body to go along with the abused psyche, and worst of all, children of chaos, and the cycle continues.
Once bitten by and free of this kind of relationship, an intelligent and self-actualized (to use a psycho-babble term) person is going to see red flags in the relationships that follow. Is he/she too needy, too self-effacing, too over-confident, too codependent (cliche' as that term is) too this, that or whatever? Chances are, given we're all human, the answer to some of those questions is going to be yes. So, rather than being twice-bitten the person, especially if still nursing a past wound, withdraws either completely or in small ways. They may ditch the relationship completely, or simply put up so many little obstacles that eventually the new love interest can't help but feel driven away. In some cases both parties will be survivors of failed fixer-upper disasters, and then the approach/avoidance dance can go on for months, years, decades.
The only certainty is that at some point one party to the relationship is going to ask what in all hells is going on (or NOT going on) and the almost certain answer is going to be something like "It's not you...it's me. Don't blame yourself--it's not your fault. I really do love you, and I never meant to lie to you or lead you on, but I guess I have a fear of commitment thing."
Ouch.
But then, what's worse? Someone going into a relationship with all kinds of baggage that has yet to be unpacked, reorganized, and the old crap thrown away? ....or the person who knowingly just dives right in on the rebound, hoping to put off that chore, suppress those feelings with new, nicer ones, never understanding that those things left undone will eventually need taking care of. No amount of booze, drugs, or sex-therapy is going to change that.
So maybe, for the non-players out there, a better way to express this uncomfortable state of being is to honestly explain that he/she still has work to do on getting emotionally organized again after a chaotic relationship. Chances are if the relationship is a significant one, the other person is going to know already at least the basics of what's happened in the past. It's then her/his (the person seeking more's) decision to make. Faced with honest fear of commitment, or a love interest who still has emotional work to do, the choices are pretty simple. Stick it out for a while (or as long as it takes if the relationship continues to be satisfying) in hopes that the reorganization is completed within her/his lifetime, slowly drift away more discouraged than ever, or say, "Okay then, get back to me when you have your shit together and maybe I'll still be around."
Either way, assuming both people are decent humans, not predators with major issues (subject for a future "rant" I think) both can at least take comfort in the honesty of the communication. If real love is involved, both can continue to communicate within the confines/limits of the current relationship and hope for the best. Both can settle back in a less aggressive role, continuing to be as mutually supportive as possible, perhaps sadly or reluctantly keeping other options open. After all, in no way is it realistic to ask the person who wants more to hang around waiting forever for something that may never happen. Pleading "emotional work to be done" or "fear of commitment" does basically equate to setting the other person free. I can't help thinking of that old butterfly analogy "Love is like a butterfly, if you hold it too tightly it will die, if you hold it too loosely it will fly...but if you set it free and it returns to you, it is yours forever." Corny but true.
So, back to my original defense of that fear. Sometimes it comes from a good place and needs to be respected for what it is, an attempt to prevent harm or even disaster, depending upon the volatility of the people involved. I do not necessarily see it as I once did, as a coward's way out, or worse, a means to stall while searching for something better. And that, I think, is what sometimes makes older woman, younger man relationships as rich and successful as they are. There is no substitute for the wisdom gained over time. It more than makes up for a few smile lines.
I've seen a little more of life since then, and having seen the disastrous effects of the opposite of that fear of commitment thing, which I'll call the "too quick to jump in" response, or maybe I could call it the "I'd better latch on to this and hold on with all my might before it disappears into the ether" response, or just the dreaded "rebound," I'm thinking maybe the person who feared (and shall remain anonymous here) had the right idea.
True, life is indeed short...far shorter than I could have ever imagined for some very important people. We can all relate to that, no doubt. The "sea change" for me came when I realized that I can now, even though I'm older and therefore have less time than I would like for caution, understand the desire, given the shortness of life, to want to wring every bit of experience we can out of it. In that case the person in mortal fear of committing is best left to his/her own devices, because they will never willingly settle down. It's unfair to ask it of them. It is hardly fair to meet a "free spirit" and promptly wish to cage it, after all, and if you do succeed in caging such a being, it will become either feral or pathetic, but will never remain what it was before. When intrigued with such a person, have fun and move on, just as they will...and if you are not able to do that, find someone a little less exciting and a lot more reliable. If you are truly lucky, you will find someone who is a little bit exciting and unpredictable yet utterly dependable...that oh so perfect mixture of good and bad sure to keep things interesting for decades. It's a rare creature indeed, but I know it exists. I've seen it, in the mirror and elsewhere. But don't spin your wheels (forgive the mixed metaphors I'm sure to engage in here) wishing for the impossible--what every immature person dreams of--the BAD BOY (or girl) turned docile by love. That only happens at the very end of bodice ripper novels, and the reason it happens at the end is that there is absolutely nowhere to go after that. It doesn't exist, even in the fantasies of the most gifted of writers.
Anyway, returning to the fear issue; I have also become intimately acquainted with self-doubt, that insidious virus of the psyche that whispers to us that we may not measure up to some loved-one's expectations...that we are on too high a pedestal...that we'll make total asses of ourselves when we fall off. Bear in mind the loved-one probably has equal fears and just as many little issues as you do, so if that's all that's wrong it's time to ditch the excessive caution and move forward together in life. Live happily ever after and be grateful for every precious moment you share, because even happily ever after can be fleeting and gone too soon.
Unfortunately, life has a way of inflicting deeper pains and harder experiences, and therein lie the situations I most want to address here.
Men often get a bad rap for using fear of commitment as an excuse to keep looking, keep hoping to find the greener grass promised in that next feminine pasture, but in my opinion that view is a little shallow and self-serving. A woman, upon feeling scorned by his desire to avoid a "forever" relationship and keep searching for the ephemeral perfect woman is only getting half the message right if she's chosen the man in question wisely. I'm definitely not talking about the kind of guy who is little more than a serial one night stand, with no respect or feeling for his "prey". Those kind of people exist in male and female form, and their psychological issues are beyond any one person's ability to mend, no matter how well intentioned they may be in making the effort.
I've tried to "love someone well" and failed miserably. I tried to "fix" someone with poor self esteem, a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect who never learned to forgive himself, anyone else, or the whole effing world. I felt conflicting feelings of anger and pity for the guy, neither of which are particularly attractive. I honestly thought if I tried hard enough I could "love away" the hurts of his abusive childhood and the many other wrongs life had done him. It was only years later that I realized how supremely arrogant I was in my sure belief that I could somehow magically love all his pain (and the behaviors I attributed to that pain) away. Who did I think I was, Super-woman? ((Please, self, get a grip. You may be good, but you're not THAT good!)) No one is. Sticky-sweet, happily ever after (meaning after she gives up her entire life and all her personal hopes and dreams) chick flick plots aside, the only way any person (self) can mend those kinds of hurts, the ones carried so deep and so long we no longer even realize they're there, is by learning self-love. ((And no I don't mean the x-rated variety, smart asses, though that too can be extremely therapeutic. ***grin***))
It's twisted, but the only feelings a relationship in which one person tries to "mend" the other engenders are more self-loathing, the certainty that there must be something terribly wrong with anyone willing to love the "victim" in question, and his or her resulting absolute dedication to proving that to be true. What results is persistent undermining of the self-confidence of the nurturer in an effort to create some kind of order in the chaos of the broken person's mind. Simply put it's that relationship we've all had or if we're fortunate, just witnessed, in which the object of Pollyanna's love treats her like absolute dirt, to put it nicely. The observer sees with absolute clarity the fact that the guy is working hard to tear down his partner in order to push his own self-esteem higher. It's ugly, and with extremely stubborn people, these mutually destructive relationships can last for years, and for some poor souls, a lifetime...a lifetime for both of ruined holidays, shattered dreams and too often an abused body to go along with the abused psyche, and worst of all, children of chaos, and the cycle continues.
Once bitten by and free of this kind of relationship, an intelligent and self-actualized (to use a psycho-babble term) person is going to see red flags in the relationships that follow. Is he/she too needy, too self-effacing, too over-confident, too codependent (cliche' as that term is) too this, that or whatever? Chances are, given we're all human, the answer to some of those questions is going to be yes. So, rather than being twice-bitten the person, especially if still nursing a past wound, withdraws either completely or in small ways. They may ditch the relationship completely, or simply put up so many little obstacles that eventually the new love interest can't help but feel driven away. In some cases both parties will be survivors of failed fixer-upper disasters, and then the approach/avoidance dance can go on for months, years, decades.
The only certainty is that at some point one party to the relationship is going to ask what in all hells is going on (or NOT going on) and the almost certain answer is going to be something like "It's not you...it's me. Don't blame yourself--it's not your fault. I really do love you, and I never meant to lie to you or lead you on, but I guess I have a fear of commitment thing."
Ouch.
But then, what's worse? Someone going into a relationship with all kinds of baggage that has yet to be unpacked, reorganized, and the old crap thrown away? ....or the person who knowingly just dives right in on the rebound, hoping to put off that chore, suppress those feelings with new, nicer ones, never understanding that those things left undone will eventually need taking care of. No amount of booze, drugs, or sex-therapy is going to change that.
So maybe, for the non-players out there, a better way to express this uncomfortable state of being is to honestly explain that he/she still has work to do on getting emotionally organized again after a chaotic relationship. Chances are if the relationship is a significant one, the other person is going to know already at least the basics of what's happened in the past. It's then her/his (the person seeking more's) decision to make. Faced with honest fear of commitment, or a love interest who still has emotional work to do, the choices are pretty simple. Stick it out for a while (or as long as it takes if the relationship continues to be satisfying) in hopes that the reorganization is completed within her/his lifetime, slowly drift away more discouraged than ever, or say, "Okay then, get back to me when you have your shit together and maybe I'll still be around."
Either way, assuming both people are decent humans, not predators with major issues (subject for a future "rant" I think) both can at least take comfort in the honesty of the communication. If real love is involved, both can continue to communicate within the confines/limits of the current relationship and hope for the best. Both can settle back in a less aggressive role, continuing to be as mutually supportive as possible, perhaps sadly or reluctantly keeping other options open. After all, in no way is it realistic to ask the person who wants more to hang around waiting forever for something that may never happen. Pleading "emotional work to be done" or "fear of commitment" does basically equate to setting the other person free. I can't help thinking of that old butterfly analogy "Love is like a butterfly, if you hold it too tightly it will die, if you hold it too loosely it will fly...but if you set it free and it returns to you, it is yours forever." Corny but true.
So, back to my original defense of that fear. Sometimes it comes from a good place and needs to be respected for what it is, an attempt to prevent harm or even disaster, depending upon the volatility of the people involved. I do not necessarily see it as I once did, as a coward's way out, or worse, a means to stall while searching for something better. And that, I think, is what sometimes makes older woman, younger man relationships as rich and successful as they are. There is no substitute for the wisdom gained over time. It more than makes up for a few smile lines.
Rant Warning!
I need to preface this little rant by saying I never once saw the program "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" or whatever it's called, but upon hearing of Jon's recent behavior in France with the barely adult daughter of his wife's surgeon and his new idea to exploit his children in a childrens' wear scam...I mean business, I just have to vent before I explode! Feel free to comment. I like to stick to less gutter-slime-like subjects, but eh...who's perfect, right?
Here goes:
Jon Gosselin is a PIG...an ugly, puffy eyed, hair plugged, paunchy, spineless excuse for a man I would NEVER consider dating, under any circumstances. Certainly not because of his physical looks, which are after all just an accident of nature, but because he, as a human, is flat out revolting! No amount of money makes up for his utter and complete lack of personality and his persistently puerile behavior. The only time he even pretends to be a father is when he's signing the checks he gets from exploiting the offspring for which he was a sperm donor! (...and I cannot imagine being poor Kate when his other little, and I mean little, "recreational" deposits were made! Erase, brain! Erase!) The sooner the clock expires on his already overlong moments of fame, the better. Looking at him makes me gag and thinking about him makes me want to tear my hair out...and his new plugs too! In fact he IS a plug--the kind sold on adult toy websites--used and never cleaned.
Thank you for allowing me this brief but satisfying self-indulgence.
Here goes:
Jon Gosselin is a PIG...an ugly, puffy eyed, hair plugged, paunchy, spineless excuse for a man I would NEVER consider dating, under any circumstances. Certainly not because of his physical looks, which are after all just an accident of nature, but because he, as a human, is flat out revolting! No amount of money makes up for his utter and complete lack of personality and his persistently puerile behavior. The only time he even pretends to be a father is when he's signing the checks he gets from exploiting the offspring for which he was a sperm donor! (...and I cannot imagine being poor Kate when his other little, and I mean little, "recreational" deposits were made! Erase, brain! Erase!) The sooner the clock expires on his already overlong moments of fame, the better. Looking at him makes me gag and thinking about him makes me want to tear my hair out...and his new plugs too! In fact he IS a plug--the kind sold on adult toy websites--used and never cleaned.
Thank you for allowing me this brief but satisfying self-indulgence.
Monday, July 6, 2009
"Ameritianity"
Was wasting time the other rainy day when I came upon a completely brain-dead comment to an AOL story that mentioned something called Ameritianity. "WTF", I thought to myself...and then I made the mistake of looking into it. I am now working to lower my blood pressure by taking deep cleansing breaths. If you are a fellow masochist, you can find the site here: Ameritianity - Christian Responsibility for America
...in two three four, out two three four...
Anyway, this was my basic response to the poster, and while I see I have but one lonely though notable follower, I do hope this reaches other eyes at some point because, just like everything else I write and every word I utter, it is absolutely priceless and beyond compare. *Insert laugh track here.*
Oh...and the funniest thing I almost forgot to mention...the term was first employed by the French! Ohhh my sides!
Regarding "Ameritanity" (gag) Oh goodie, another right wing idiot who thinks she/he knows all about how to be "Christ-like" and "praises Jesus" but doesn't even realize His real name is Yeshua bin Joseph. She pontificates to the left about the GLORRRRRY and superiority of the ultra right. This means of course pro-war, meaning anti-already-born life, anti-health care for children, anti social programs, in other words GREEDY but holier than thou because they make a weekly social appearance at church and have ALLEGEDLY "accepted Jayyyyysus into their haaaarts" no doubt "for the chilllllldren". ((Honestly, I could retch!)) Children meaning of course the ones they want to ensure are born (even if it means putting pregnant women in shackles and FORCING them to give birth, even in cases of incest and rape) but these are the same children they would gladly starve and see die preventable deaths due to lack of access to adequate health care. Ugh... I could go on for hours, and I suppose if you add up all my posts on this particular form of uber-hypocrisy I have, but my basic point is as follows. No people, as a rule, are less Christ-like than Bible thumping right wingnut Xtians. I will NOT call them Christians because they act in direct opposition to Christ's teachings. Their absolute and total hypocrisy defines them... always...ALWAYS!
The entire concept of "Ameritianity" is nonsense in a tragi-comic way because they consider funding for health care and rehab for Veterans, yes OUR Veterans...the ones stuck over the sea (or on it, or above it) eating sand and MREs as they and their buds die wearing faulty body armor and ride in underprotected vehicles because good ol' George W. thought he had higher priorities (you know, like profiteering and raking in blood money for his family and friends) "pork" or worse yet "Socialism"! I beg your pardon???
"We are all about the troops!", they say "...just see our lovely yellow ribbons (made in Japan) on our gas guzzling, air polluting SUVs! We gave our 89 cents while sitting here all comfy cozy feeling superior, and some of us even make sure to keep a light shining on our flags at night! Heck, we even have candle light vigils and play military music and eat star shaped sugar cookies and watch the fireworks on 'the fourth of July' if we're not blind drunk by sunset. We even sometimes show up at the airport to welcome our Reserve units home (and watch the TV coverage, breathlessly waiting to catch a glimpse of ourselves in our red white and blue finest.) What more can you ask? My grampa was Patton's driver, you know. My family has a long, proud military heritage!" Just an aside here, but have you ever noticed how many drivers, aides, pedicurists and head toilet paper handlers every famous military figure has had? All I remember, personally, is being turd number one in someone's poop parade. Well actually, I remember a lot more than that, but I'm just saying...
Nothing these fringe element wackos have to say is relevant, nor is it based on anything the Founding Fathers had in mind when this nation was born, but they won't allow little things like that stop them. They have PROPAGANDA to spread, dammit!
Anyway...happy Independence Day...belatedly. I only wish we could have a national "educate yourselves before you vote or voice your opinion" day or a "Christ was a Liberal" day or a "If you're going to call yourself a Christian then, by God, at least make an attempt to follow His teachings" day, which I suppose would have to be shortened because it would never fit on a calendar, but I think you smell what I'm stirring here. Eww... I hate that saying, but it's so descriptive and subject-appropriate.
Now, one final and very serious thought. Thank you Veterans and Active Duty military persons of either gender. The price you pay may differ from person to person, but your sacrifices are noted and appreciated, and for the record I would gladly see my taxes raised significantly to see our promises to you kept. No catchy phrase for that, and no web sites either...but it is what it is. Gratitude and respect. Godspeed.
...in two three four, out two three four...
Anyway, this was my basic response to the poster, and while I see I have but one lonely though notable follower, I do hope this reaches other eyes at some point because, just like everything else I write and every word I utter, it is absolutely priceless and beyond compare. *Insert laugh track here.*
Oh...and the funniest thing I almost forgot to mention...the term was first employed by the French! Ohhh my sides!
Regarding "Ameritanity" (gag) Oh goodie, another right wing idiot who thinks she/he knows all about how to be "Christ-like" and "praises Jesus" but doesn't even realize His real name is Yeshua bin Joseph. She pontificates to the left about the GLORRRRRY and superiority of the ultra right. This means of course pro-war, meaning anti-already-born life, anti-health care for children, anti social programs, in other words GREEDY but holier than thou because they make a weekly social appearance at church and have ALLEGEDLY "accepted Jayyyyysus into their haaaarts" no doubt "for the chilllllldren". ((Honestly, I could retch!)) Children meaning of course the ones they want to ensure are born (even if it means putting pregnant women in shackles and FORCING them to give birth, even in cases of incest and rape) but these are the same children they would gladly starve and see die preventable deaths due to lack of access to adequate health care. Ugh... I could go on for hours, and I suppose if you add up all my posts on this particular form of uber-hypocrisy I have, but my basic point is as follows. No people, as a rule, are less Christ-like than Bible thumping right wingnut Xtians. I will NOT call them Christians because they act in direct opposition to Christ's teachings. Their absolute and total hypocrisy defines them... always...ALWAYS!
The entire concept of "Ameritianity" is nonsense in a tragi-comic way because they consider funding for health care and rehab for Veterans, yes OUR Veterans...the ones stuck over the sea (or on it, or above it) eating sand and MREs as they and their buds die wearing faulty body armor and ride in underprotected vehicles because good ol' George W. thought he had higher priorities (you know, like profiteering and raking in blood money for his family and friends) "pork" or worse yet "Socialism"! I beg your pardon???
"We are all about the troops!", they say "...just see our lovely yellow ribbons (made in Japan) on our gas guzzling, air polluting SUVs! We gave our 89 cents while sitting here all comfy cozy feeling superior, and some of us even make sure to keep a light shining on our flags at night! Heck, we even have candle light vigils and play military music and eat star shaped sugar cookies and watch the fireworks on 'the fourth of July' if we're not blind drunk by sunset. We even sometimes show up at the airport to welcome our Reserve units home (and watch the TV coverage, breathlessly waiting to catch a glimpse of ourselves in our red white and blue finest.) What more can you ask? My grampa was Patton's driver, you know. My family has a long, proud military heritage!" Just an aside here, but have you ever noticed how many drivers, aides, pedicurists and head toilet paper handlers every famous military figure has had? All I remember, personally, is being turd number one in someone's poop parade. Well actually, I remember a lot more than that, but I'm just saying...
Nothing these fringe element wackos have to say is relevant, nor is it based on anything the Founding Fathers had in mind when this nation was born, but they won't allow little things like that stop them. They have PROPAGANDA to spread, dammit!
Anyway...happy Independence Day...belatedly. I only wish we could have a national "educate yourselves before you vote or voice your opinion" day or a "Christ was a Liberal" day or a "If you're going to call yourself a Christian then, by God, at least make an attempt to follow His teachings" day, which I suppose would have to be shortened because it would never fit on a calendar, but I think you smell what I'm stirring here. Eww... I hate that saying, but it's so descriptive and subject-appropriate.
Now, one final and very serious thought. Thank you Veterans and Active Duty military persons of either gender. The price you pay may differ from person to person, but your sacrifices are noted and appreciated, and for the record I would gladly see my taxes raised significantly to see our promises to you kept. No catchy phrase for that, and no web sites either...but it is what it is. Gratitude and respect. Godspeed.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Boycotting "Michigan's Adventure"
This from Asylum writer Adam K. Raymond:
Should Paralyzed Vet Get a Free (Amusement Park) Ride?
News
787 CommentsJoshua Hoffman is a quadriplegic former Marine. So when he went to Michigan's Adventure, an amusement park, his family expected he would be admitted for free since he wouldn't be riding any rides. They were wrong. The park insisted that he and his nurse pay admission because there are no exceptions. "We just can't be in a position of picking and choosing," said a general manager for the park. "We have grandparents (who pay admission) that come in our park every day that have no intention of ever going on a ride. It's not based on the level of participation." Hoffman's family was not having it. "He went to Iraq for all of us and took a bullet in the neck. He sacrificed everything for his country," Joel Lovell said. "I was just kind of stunned." What do you think? One the one hand, this dude is clearly incapable of participating in any roller coaster riding. On the other hand, does his injury mean the normal rules of the park don't apply to him?
To me, of course, this is a no-brainer. While I'm cynic enough to think the family a bit dull for having expected a business to behave in an honorable way, the fact that said business did indeed refuse free admission for a paralyzed Marine veteran wounded in war, defending the country in which they have the freedom to operate their greedy little business makes me see red, and I don't mean the stripe down the leg of his uniform signifying the blood shed by his brothers in arms before him. The comments of course range from idiotic to poetic, as do the names of the people posting them. I was especially "impressed" by someone who chose the name "ride the snake". Compensation issues anyone? I had to laugh at that one, imagining some pathetic little creepy crawler living in his granny's basement or a little tag along trailer in the "back forty" busily hating on anyone with more to show for his manhood than I could measure with my pinky finger. Oh how I digress. At any rate, he suggested that people outraged by the refusal of "Michigan Adventure" (oh the visions there as well!) to admit the Marine without charge should start a fund for veterans. What an idiotic and counter-intuitive idea. Yes, let's do raise funds for a business we'd like to see put OUT of business. That makes sense! Yahoo! Ugh... How about we just not go there? I think everyone could live nicely without a trip to Michigan, and Wisconsin is just one state over and has the nation's largest water park--Noah's Ark
Noah's Ark Family Park Inc
(608) 254-6351
1410 Wisconsin Dells Pkwy, Wisconsin Dells, WI
in Wisconsin Dells. At least then the guy would have some eye candy to enjoy, hopefully at no charge!
Should Paralyzed Vet Get a Free (Amusement Park) Ride?
News
787 CommentsJoshua Hoffman is a quadriplegic former Marine. So when he went to Michigan's Adventure, an amusement park, his family expected he would be admitted for free since he wouldn't be riding any rides. They were wrong. The park insisted that he and his nurse pay admission because there are no exceptions. "We just can't be in a position of picking and choosing," said a general manager for the park. "We have grandparents (who pay admission) that come in our park every day that have no intention of ever going on a ride. It's not based on the level of participation." Hoffman's family was not having it. "He went to Iraq for all of us and took a bullet in the neck. He sacrificed everything for his country," Joel Lovell said. "I was just kind of stunned." What do you think? One the one hand, this dude is clearly incapable of participating in any roller coaster riding. On the other hand, does his injury mean the normal rules of the park don't apply to him?
To me, of course, this is a no-brainer. While I'm cynic enough to think the family a bit dull for having expected a business to behave in an honorable way, the fact that said business did indeed refuse free admission for a paralyzed Marine veteran wounded in war, defending the country in which they have the freedom to operate their greedy little business makes me see red, and I don't mean the stripe down the leg of his uniform signifying the blood shed by his brothers in arms before him. The comments of course range from idiotic to poetic, as do the names of the people posting them. I was especially "impressed" by someone who chose the name "ride the snake". Compensation issues anyone? I had to laugh at that one, imagining some pathetic little creepy crawler living in his granny's basement or a little tag along trailer in the "back forty" busily hating on anyone with more to show for his manhood than I could measure with my pinky finger. Oh how I digress. At any rate, he suggested that people outraged by the refusal of "Michigan Adventure" (oh the visions there as well!) to admit the Marine without charge should start a fund for veterans. What an idiotic and counter-intuitive idea. Yes, let's do raise funds for a business we'd like to see put OUT of business. That makes sense! Yahoo! Ugh... How about we just not go there? I think everyone could live nicely without a trip to Michigan, and Wisconsin is just one state over and has the nation's largest water park--Noah's Ark
Noah's Ark Family Park Inc
(608) 254-6351
1410 Wisconsin Dells Pkwy, Wisconsin Dells, WI
in Wisconsin Dells. At least then the guy would have some eye candy to enjoy, hopefully at no charge!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Fmylife
Found a site that actually makes me feel a lot better about my own little traumas and makes it a lot easier to laugh my assets off as I await final word on whether or not Brett Favre is going to be able to do a nice "in your face" to Packers mismanagement a couple times this coming season. "Fmylife.com" is freaking hilarious and a great place to waste too much time, and I highly recommend it. I can readily think of a few episodes I could add myself but not sure I'll do so.
Finally got my new debit card working, after about 2 weeks of confusion over PIN numbers and ladies past a certain age who don't necessarily technically know exactly what they're doing at work but who are very sweet none the less.
(eww...excuse me while I barf...coach McCarthy is on the news)
Anyway, time to go looking for some purple and gold clothing...not exactly something I have a lot of. My poor deceased brother would be rolling over in his grave if he had one. He hated the Vikings so much. Looks like they're my new favorite team, for a year or so anyway. Anyone who speeds up the demise of the current regime works for me. Just the intent to give them ulcers makes me smile. I love how Favre got around the ridiculous "no trade to Minnesota" clause in his Jets contract by retiring again. People think he's indecisive. HA! He has known what he's doing every step of the way. It's just a shame he had to keep his starting streak going and got hurt a little, but something tells me that arm is healing nicely, especially with that trainer from the Vikings helping him out. Loving it...just effing loving it!
As far as all the false bravado about how the "wonderful" Packers defense can't wait to put Favre on his butt. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything... Would make a lot of people happy if they started somewhere. Someone sure needs to light a fire under their backsides. Coaching and staff sure aren't capable, so maybe a little rivalry will get them doing more than what is absolutely necessary to "earn" their pay. The one person, aside from Favre of course, I really feel for is Ron Wolfe. Seeing all he worked so hard to put together going to hell in just a couple years has to hurt and hurt badly. It's a shame when people put ego and image over honor and integrity. In other words, Karma's a bitch, and she'll catch you every time. Hope she gets to know Thompson, Murphy and McCarthy extremely well this season!
Finally got my new debit card working, after about 2 weeks of confusion over PIN numbers and ladies past a certain age who don't necessarily technically know exactly what they're doing at work but who are very sweet none the less.
(eww...excuse me while I barf...coach McCarthy is on the news)
Anyway, time to go looking for some purple and gold clothing...not exactly something I have a lot of. My poor deceased brother would be rolling over in his grave if he had one. He hated the Vikings so much. Looks like they're my new favorite team, for a year or so anyway. Anyone who speeds up the demise of the current regime works for me. Just the intent to give them ulcers makes me smile. I love how Favre got around the ridiculous "no trade to Minnesota" clause in his Jets contract by retiring again. People think he's indecisive. HA! He has known what he's doing every step of the way. It's just a shame he had to keep his starting streak going and got hurt a little, but something tells me that arm is healing nicely, especially with that trainer from the Vikings helping him out. Loving it...just effing loving it!
As far as all the false bravado about how the "wonderful" Packers defense can't wait to put Favre on his butt. Well, I guess there's a first time for everything... Would make a lot of people happy if they started somewhere. Someone sure needs to light a fire under their backsides. Coaching and staff sure aren't capable, so maybe a little rivalry will get them doing more than what is absolutely necessary to "earn" their pay. The one person, aside from Favre of course, I really feel for is Ron Wolfe. Seeing all he worked so hard to put together going to hell in just a couple years has to hurt and hurt badly. It's a shame when people put ego and image over honor and integrity. In other words, Karma's a bitch, and she'll catch you every time. Hope she gets to know Thompson, Murphy and McCarthy extremely well this season!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Obama disappoints on "don't ask don't tell" policy.
I'm seething as I write this, which of course is not unnatural for me as the things I care about I care about with great passion...and sometimes confusion. That is the case for me today.
I have been a dedicated democrat since I was 14 years old and my friend Dave Welhouse talked me into working on a presidential campaign, just making phone calls and lit drops...but it's been something I've always cared deeply about. My Army years were no exception to this, and I found a remarkable number of like-minded people among my friends and colleagues when I served. So much for that ridiculous myth about the military being all republican. I'll put my patriotism, which includes not my right, but my obligation to speak out when I think something has gone terribly wrong (ie: the entire Bush administration) up against anyone's, except maybe the man I'm about to introduce you to. If you've already met this man, this fighter pilot who served with such honor, distinction and dare I say heroism in Bush's war of choice in Iraq (the odious profiteering and other attrocities to be discussed another day, another time) you know just how completely President Obama has failed in one of his most important campaign promises. For those of you who have not yet met this man, his name is Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach. Please follow the link below to learn more about this man who has served our country with such honor and distinction.
Fighting to serve May 19: Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach was an 18-year veteran of the Air Force, and an F-15 fighter pilot. He still would be, but the Air Force fired him because he revealed he was gay. Rachel Maddow is joined by Fehrenbach, who is now fighting to keep his job.
Colonel Fehrenbach is being railroaded out of the military at a time when we most need to maintain our strength--a time when Bush's war of choice has left our military stretched so thin that a good portion of those returning to the field against their will for 3rd and 4th deployments are little more than walking wounded, so affected by the hell of war that they will never be the same, even with the counseling and medications and support that may finally be reaching some of them through increases in funding for what I call "promise keeping"...this nation's solemn obligation to return to health and function, as much as is possible, these, the finest among us, who have voluntarily answered the call, over and over again.
Today I really want to stay on task and address my president, for whom I voted with some reluctance given my aversion to "show ponies," as my Marine Aviator friend likes to call people who are more talk than substance...well actually that's what he calls the Blue Angels, but he has every right to, given the time he's put into the sphincter tightening "rush" of landing an FA-18C jet on a tiny speck bobbing around in a dark ocean for many years. He is another hero, my most precious one, but again, I can't seem to stop digressing.
I want to ask President Obama, as a female who served in the military with honor and pride and fortunately for me, between wars, and as an American, why he is utterly failing Colonel Fehrenbach and breaking his promise to end the archaic "don't ask don't tell" policy in our military, which puts Uncle Sam, not at the head of our forces where he belongs, but wayyy behind lines, in the privacy of bedrooms, an uninvited voyeur and bringer of judgment despite a prurient interest of his own in the most private of matters, matters that have not one thing to do with how a person is equipped to serve in our military. As Colonel Fehrenbach puts it, the reasoning, and I use that term incredibly loosely, behind "don't ask don't tell" is that sexual orientation allegedly affects discipline and order in the ranks. It certainly didn't in the Colonel's case, nor in any of the other cases of which I am aware, in which people, often victims of a personal vendetta of some kind, were labeled, judged unfit, and drummed out of our military after serving with distinction.
As a female in the military I was sexually assaulted by more than one of the people entrusted with command positions in my unit, but oddly not one of them, despite collaborative evidence and the testimony of other women who had faced the same "break in discipline" as I, was discharged, dishonorably or otherwise. Years later one was caught again and got a slap on the wrist, and that was the extent of the punishment for multiple sex crimes, yet men and women who commit NO crime, are ZERO risk to mission effectiveness and serve in OUTSTANDING fashion in every way, lose careers over assertions about sexual preference. Never mind the fact that by the time Colonel Fehrenbach received notice of his impending premature separation from service, the U.S. military had spent somewhere in the area of twenty-five million dollars training him, only a handful of people even knew his sexual orientation and those few only very recently became aware. So much for how the Colonel's private life had a negative impact on structure and discipline; it simply did not. His training, experience and dedication to excellence did, however, save countless lives of soldiers and Marines on the ground. We NEED men and women with his willingness to continue to serve to do a job fewer and fewer remain to do as losses mount in Iraq and Afghanistan.
That he is facing separation from service two years short of a retirement he has earned is a travesty, a grave disservice to the Air Force and to those on the ground whose lives he has saved and to those he is eager to continue to protect and defend. To Colonel Fehrenbach personally, it's the end of life as he knows it. He was a "military brat" and has known no other life or career. The Air Force has literally been his family since he was born, and now, because our president cannot seem to find the "intestinal fortitude" to keep his promise to Colonel Fehrenbach and countless others like him, the Colonel is losing not only a distinguished career but his more than well-earned retirement and his military family, which I can assure you, nothing else comes close to replacing.
President Obama cannot unilaterally end "don't ask don't tell" and congress shows no current interest in picking up that particular "hot potato" issue at this time for political reasons, but Obama CAN temporarily suspend the practice of forcible ejection from service based on sexual orientation or accusations in that regard until such time as congress does address this campaign promise issue. Colonel Fehrenbach, in keeping with his remarkable idealism and continued desire to serve the many rather than his own self-interests does not seek this remedy for himself, rightly stating that it is a temporary fix for an issue that should be addressed officially and immediately as was promised in speech after speech by Obama during election season. He is simply holding President Obama to his word. I believe that Colonel Fehrenbach has more than earned the right to do so.
Colonel Fehrenbach, please accept this, my verbal salute to you and your service to this often ungrateful nation. You have my utmost respect and admiration, which you have more than earned, not only from the air, but in your quiet dignity in challenging the President to live up to his promises to us all, for the greater good of our military, our nation and ultimately the world.
I have been a dedicated democrat since I was 14 years old and my friend Dave Welhouse talked me into working on a presidential campaign, just making phone calls and lit drops...but it's been something I've always cared deeply about. My Army years were no exception to this, and I found a remarkable number of like-minded people among my friends and colleagues when I served. So much for that ridiculous myth about the military being all republican. I'll put my patriotism, which includes not my right, but my obligation to speak out when I think something has gone terribly wrong (ie: the entire Bush administration) up against anyone's, except maybe the man I'm about to introduce you to. If you've already met this man, this fighter pilot who served with such honor, distinction and dare I say heroism in Bush's war of choice in Iraq (the odious profiteering and other attrocities to be discussed another day, another time) you know just how completely President Obama has failed in one of his most important campaign promises. For those of you who have not yet met this man, his name is Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach. Please follow the link below to learn more about this man who has served our country with such honor and distinction.
Fighting to serve May 19: Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach was an 18-year veteran of the Air Force, and an F-15 fighter pilot. He still would be, but the Air Force fired him because he revealed he was gay. Rachel Maddow is joined by Fehrenbach, who is now fighting to keep his job.
Colonel Fehrenbach is being railroaded out of the military at a time when we most need to maintain our strength--a time when Bush's war of choice has left our military stretched so thin that a good portion of those returning to the field against their will for 3rd and 4th deployments are little more than walking wounded, so affected by the hell of war that they will never be the same, even with the counseling and medications and support that may finally be reaching some of them through increases in funding for what I call "promise keeping"...this nation's solemn obligation to return to health and function, as much as is possible, these, the finest among us, who have voluntarily answered the call, over and over again.
Today I really want to stay on task and address my president, for whom I voted with some reluctance given my aversion to "show ponies," as my Marine Aviator friend likes to call people who are more talk than substance...well actually that's what he calls the Blue Angels, but he has every right to, given the time he's put into the sphincter tightening "rush" of landing an FA-18C jet on a tiny speck bobbing around in a dark ocean for many years. He is another hero, my most precious one, but again, I can't seem to stop digressing.
I want to ask President Obama, as a female who served in the military with honor and pride and fortunately for me, between wars, and as an American, why he is utterly failing Colonel Fehrenbach and breaking his promise to end the archaic "don't ask don't tell" policy in our military, which puts Uncle Sam, not at the head of our forces where he belongs, but wayyy behind lines, in the privacy of bedrooms, an uninvited voyeur and bringer of judgment despite a prurient interest of his own in the most private of matters, matters that have not one thing to do with how a person is equipped to serve in our military. As Colonel Fehrenbach puts it, the reasoning, and I use that term incredibly loosely, behind "don't ask don't tell" is that sexual orientation allegedly affects discipline and order in the ranks. It certainly didn't in the Colonel's case, nor in any of the other cases of which I am aware, in which people, often victims of a personal vendetta of some kind, were labeled, judged unfit, and drummed out of our military after serving with distinction.
As a female in the military I was sexually assaulted by more than one of the people entrusted with command positions in my unit, but oddly not one of them, despite collaborative evidence and the testimony of other women who had faced the same "break in discipline" as I, was discharged, dishonorably or otherwise. Years later one was caught again and got a slap on the wrist, and that was the extent of the punishment for multiple sex crimes, yet men and women who commit NO crime, are ZERO risk to mission effectiveness and serve in OUTSTANDING fashion in every way, lose careers over assertions about sexual preference. Never mind the fact that by the time Colonel Fehrenbach received notice of his impending premature separation from service, the U.S. military had spent somewhere in the area of twenty-five million dollars training him, only a handful of people even knew his sexual orientation and those few only very recently became aware. So much for how the Colonel's private life had a negative impact on structure and discipline; it simply did not. His training, experience and dedication to excellence did, however, save countless lives of soldiers and Marines on the ground. We NEED men and women with his willingness to continue to serve to do a job fewer and fewer remain to do as losses mount in Iraq and Afghanistan.
That he is facing separation from service two years short of a retirement he has earned is a travesty, a grave disservice to the Air Force and to those on the ground whose lives he has saved and to those he is eager to continue to protect and defend. To Colonel Fehrenbach personally, it's the end of life as he knows it. He was a "military brat" and has known no other life or career. The Air Force has literally been his family since he was born, and now, because our president cannot seem to find the "intestinal fortitude" to keep his promise to Colonel Fehrenbach and countless others like him, the Colonel is losing not only a distinguished career but his more than well-earned retirement and his military family, which I can assure you, nothing else comes close to replacing.
President Obama cannot unilaterally end "don't ask don't tell" and congress shows no current interest in picking up that particular "hot potato" issue at this time for political reasons, but Obama CAN temporarily suspend the practice of forcible ejection from service based on sexual orientation or accusations in that regard until such time as congress does address this campaign promise issue. Colonel Fehrenbach, in keeping with his remarkable idealism and continued desire to serve the many rather than his own self-interests does not seek this remedy for himself, rightly stating that it is a temporary fix for an issue that should be addressed officially and immediately as was promised in speech after speech by Obama during election season. He is simply holding President Obama to his word. I believe that Colonel Fehrenbach has more than earned the right to do so.
Colonel Fehrenbach, please accept this, my verbal salute to you and your service to this often ungrateful nation. You have my utmost respect and admiration, which you have more than earned, not only from the air, but in your quiet dignity in challenging the President to live up to his promises to us all, for the greater good of our military, our nation and ultimately the world.
Friday, May 15, 2009
that creepy burger ad on TV
Okay... call me picky but I just have to say ENOUGH OF THE GREASY BURGER GUY COMMERCIAL ON TV!!! I'm addicted to reruns on USA Network (hey... no one's perfect and I have a weakness for crime dramas, okay?) but it seems sometime during EVERY commercial break they show that HORRID ad in which a tall lovely woman approaches an unkempt, gross and greasy guy (yes, I like alliteration--a lot) to the music of Poison's "She's My Cherry Pie". She breezes beautifully by, handing him a scrap of paper with a number written on it and keeps runway walking away as he anxiously opens the paper, only to smear grease over the final 4 numbers, making at least one of them illegible. In a panic, he tries to get her attention as she drives off giving him the universal "call me" sign, with thumb to ear and pinkie finger to lips. We are then led to believe that if we all eat shaved rubber and bacon rather than actual hamburger, the sexy babe will be ours. Of course this leaves most females, who actually DO eat burgers from fast food places too, completely out of the equation, unless they are the much dreamed of lesbians waiting for the "right man" or better yet, just bisexual and "up for it" at all times as my beloved second Duke of Rochester, John Wilmot--well actually his play-write, put it in "The Libertine" ...ahhh what a movie. But, as usual I digress...but I really do like me better without the ADD meds .
Anyway, the thing is this. The ONLY and I mean ONLY way that woman would give THAT man a phone number is as some kind of cruel practical joke or if she's working for PETA and recruiting people to the vegan or at least vegetarian life-style. I really do wish someone more talented than I would do a YouTube follow-up of that ad...sadly I haven't the technical expertise or legs quite long enough to carry it off. Be well all. Love you 94 and 97.
Anyway, the thing is this. The ONLY and I mean ONLY way that woman would give THAT man a phone number is as some kind of cruel practical joke or if she's working for PETA and recruiting people to the vegan or at least vegetarian life-style. I really do wish someone more talented than I would do a YouTube follow-up of that ad...sadly I haven't the technical expertise or legs quite long enough to carry it off.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Hello! Greetings! <3 Brett Favre <3
Greetings from MarquesSpot (yes, as in "X marks the spot"...it was the best I could come up with quickly)...
This is just a short and hopeful hello and welcome to my inner space (and sending out a wave to fellow ppl whose minds occasionally swerve toward the gutter...will I EVER grow up? ...I sincerely hope not!) This is my 4th, I think, attempt at blogging, but I am going to do my very best to write at least five times a week, though my aim is for daily, so please do keep tuning in if you don't find me too annoying, and please do feel free to comment. Nothing is more stimulating than the free exchange of ideas in cyber-space as long as we can keep things at least somewhat ...oh screw it, say whatever you want.
An itty bit about me, which will probably turn into something the size of a novella because I have little self control once I start writing. Marque Roseqvist is my pen name. I use it because some of what I say may not please my employers at a Catholic hospital, plus it's a nod of sorts to my brother Mark, who died a couple years ago. Roseqvist was our grandfather's last name before he was adopted as a child. I write some short online fiction, some of which I may link to if I ever write anything good enough to share with a non-MMORPG oriented audience. I'm chronologically an adult, but basically I'm a teenaged boy stuck in the body of a "lushly curvaceous" (someone else described me that way...I'm not that stuck on myself) female woman. I say the teenaged boy thing because my interests seem to lie in similar direction to theirs, hot cars, video games (zomg I'm an effing FFXI addict!) and thrill seeking in general, and I do suffer from a terrible case of gutter-brain at times. I do, however, know how to behave in polite society, as long as I'm allowed to take off my shoes and run through the puddles on the way back to the car when I've gone to "Phantom of the Opera" or whatever. I love sex, I love to talk about sex, draw about sex, write about sex and daydream endlessly about sex. That said, I am NOT looking for online sex...only one of the many inner contradictions with which I am sure Freud, rest his incestuous soul, would have had a field day.
I am a die hard moderate-to-liberal tree hugging, wood worshipping, Mother Earth loving, enthusiastically voting democrat, though now that we finally have that dangerous despot Bush out of the White House, I find that subject a lot less interesting. I get the whole sea change thing, but even *I* am beginning to feel as if a bit too much is being shoved down my unwilling gullet, so I can actually empathize to some degree with my friends (and I do have some, we do all have some skeletons in the closet after all) in the GOP. I am also, for the record, an honorably discharged, twice promoted early by waiver in a single enlistment, Army Veteran. SEE??? All that BS about no democrats in the military is just that, BS. I am also a Registered Nurse, BSN specializing in newborn intensive care, NICU, high tech, cutting edge care of micro-premies and other premature and/or critically ill newborns...so NO, Michele (my not so beloved ex sis in law) I do NOT love being able to sit around rocking babies all day. That's rather hard to do when they are connected to machines that are breathing for them, though it IS doable for the parents when the infants are stable enough to tolerate that much handling and their skin has matured to the point that it does not come off at the slightest touch. Sorry for the graphic description, but I always found Michele's condescending (she does have a degree in ***fashion merchandising*** after all--gosh I sure hope I gave that the proper emphasis--meowwww-hisssss) comments about my career choice a tad annoying. Speaking of annoying, that self-important, pseudo-sanctimonious, topless-posing hypocrite, Miss California gets to keep her title, even though she's clearly too stupid to realize how offensive she is when she acts like her freedom to speak her mind in a pageant equates to people giving their lives in the Battle of the Bulge. She completely lacks any hint of humility, and she can take her "forgiveness" of me and ...well I'm sure you can imagine the rest. She does not represent "her generation" or anyone else's, and her ego is intolerable...and any Barbie Doll could take her place, and would absolutely have more sense and sensitivity. Dear Goddess, spare me the drama, seriously!
***Note to readers*** I over-use parentheses, because that is how my thought process goes, and I have a tendency to write in run-ons, so if you have trouble following me, just skip what's in the parentheses and hopefully my writing will take on a bit more cohesiveness for you.Note to note: You may notice I'm a little opinionated, but I keep an open mind and share your thoughts with me.
And finally and very importantly, I am an absolute, total, complete and forever Brett Favre Fan. I hope he goes to Minnesota and plays the best season of his career, because though I bleed green and gold I DESPISE the current trio of traitors in charge of the Packers at this time, who treated Brett in such an underhanded way. Ted Thomposon got caught in a lie last season, and because Brett called him out on it rather than just letting it go, which would be totally against his nature, he exposed that lie...and for that he was punished by three people who don't know the first thing about honor or integrity or how things are done in Green Bay, a place that held its place as the last bastion of "old school" community-owned football. The press treats Favre's possible return to football as if it's a comedy of sorts, but there is nothing funny about it. He has an axe to grind, and I support him completely in honing it to the sharpest edge possible, and then let the heads fly! I guarantee there will never be a street in Green Bay named after Ted Thompson, coach McCarthy or Mark Murphy, the gutless wonder. And with that I will close my comments for today. Take care everyone, and GO VIKINGS (if Brett becomes part of the team of course.)
This is just a short and hopeful hello and welcome to my inner space (and sending out a wave to fellow ppl whose minds occasionally swerve toward the gutter...will I EVER grow up? ...I sincerely hope not!) This is my 4th, I think, attempt at blogging, but I am going to do my very best to write at least five times a week, though my aim is for daily, so please do keep tuning in if you don't find me too annoying, and please do feel free to comment. Nothing is more stimulating than the free exchange of ideas in cyber-space as long as we can keep things at least somewhat ...oh screw it, say whatever you want.
An itty bit about me, which will probably turn into something the size of a novella because I have little self control once I start writing. Marque Roseqvist is my pen name. I use it because some of what I say may not please my employers at a Catholic hospital, plus it's a nod of sorts to my brother Mark, who died a couple years ago. Roseqvist was our grandfather's last name before he was adopted as a child. I write some short online fiction, some of which I may link to if I ever write anything good enough to share with a non-MMORPG oriented audience. I'm chronologically an adult, but basically I'm a teenaged boy stuck in the body of a "lushly curvaceous" (someone else described me that way...I'm not that stuck on myself) female woman. I say the teenaged boy thing because my interests seem to lie in similar direction to theirs, hot cars, video games (zomg I'm an effing FFXI addict!) and thrill seeking in general, and I do suffer from a terrible case of gutter-brain at times. I do, however, know how to behave in polite society, as long as I'm allowed to take off my shoes and run through the puddles on the way back to the car when I've gone to "Phantom of the Opera" or whatever. I love sex, I love to talk about sex, draw about sex, write about sex and daydream endlessly about sex. That said, I am NOT looking for online sex...only one of the many inner contradictions with which I am sure Freud, rest his incestuous soul, would have had a field day.
I am a die hard moderate-to-liberal tree hugging, wood worshipping, Mother Earth loving, enthusiastically voting democrat, though now that we finally have that dangerous despot Bush out of the White House, I find that subject a lot less interesting. I get the whole sea change thing, but even *I* am beginning to feel as if a bit too much is being shoved down my unwilling gullet, so I can actually empathize to some degree with my friends (and I do have some, we do all have some skeletons in the closet after all) in the GOP. I am also, for the record, an honorably discharged, twice promoted early by waiver in a single enlistment, Army Veteran. SEE??? All that BS about no democrats in the military is just that, BS. I am also a Registered Nurse, BSN specializing in newborn intensive care, NICU, high tech, cutting edge care of micro-premies and other premature and/or critically ill newborns...so NO, Michele (my not so beloved ex sis in law) I do NOT love being able to sit around rocking babies all day. That's rather hard to do when they are connected to machines that are breathing for them, though it IS doable for the parents when the infants are stable enough to tolerate that much handling and their skin has matured to the point that it does not come off at the slightest touch. Sorry for the graphic description, but I always found Michele's condescending (she does have a degree in ***fashion merchandising*** after all--gosh I sure hope I gave that the proper emphasis--meowwww-hisssss) comments about my career choice a tad annoying. Speaking of annoying, that self-important, pseudo-sanctimonious, topless-posing hypocrite, Miss California gets to keep her title, even though she's clearly too stupid to realize how offensive she is when she acts like her freedom to speak her mind in a pageant equates to people giving their lives in the Battle of the Bulge. She completely lacks any hint of humility, and she can take her "forgiveness" of me and ...well I'm sure you can imagine the rest. She does not represent "her generation" or anyone else's, and her ego is intolerable...and any Barbie Doll could take her place, and would absolutely have more sense and sensitivity. Dear Goddess, spare me the drama, seriously!
***Note to readers*** I over-use parentheses, because that is how my thought process goes, and I have a tendency to write in run-ons, so if you have trouble following me, just skip what's in the parentheses and hopefully my writing will take on a bit more cohesiveness for you.
And finally and very importantly, I am an absolute, total, complete and forever Brett Favre Fan. I hope he goes to Minnesota and plays the best season of his career, because though I bleed green and gold I DESPISE the current trio of traitors in charge of the Packers at this time, who treated Brett in such an underhanded way. Ted Thomposon got caught in a lie last season, and because Brett called him out on it rather than just letting it go, which would be totally against his nature, he exposed that lie...and for that he was punished by three people who don't know the first thing about honor or integrity or how things are done in Green Bay, a place that held its place as the last bastion of "old school" community-owned football. The press treats Favre's possible return to football as if it's a comedy of sorts, but there is nothing funny about it. He has an axe to grind, and I support him completely in honing it to the sharpest edge possible, and then let the heads fly! I guarantee there will never be a street in Green Bay named after Ted Thompson, coach McCarthy or Mark Murphy, the gutless wonder. And with that I will close my comments for today. Take care everyone, and GO VIKINGS (if Brett becomes part of the team of course.)
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