To the "Powers that Be" THANK YOU!

Perhaps this is a tad premature, and please forgive me for the following stream of consciousness post, but :::::::SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!::::::: anyway! Brett's back for another season of BEATING THE PECKERS---er, I mean another season of FOOTBALL! May it be long, the longest, and ultimately and supremely successful!

I am so looking forward to Favre "putting it to" the trio of traitors again, greedy small men who've dragged a once honored and respected team into the gutter of dirty dealing, ingratitude and outright lies. It's no wonder they are now GIVING AWAY an immense wad of regular season tickets in order to artificially inflate attendance--an offensive franchise first indicative of the current mood in "Title Town." (The only title they deserve now has already been mentioned--traitors.) Until this bunch did what they did to Favre there has ALWAYS been a long waiting list for season tickets, and regular season attendance has been at or near capacity even on the coldest days, even in the most dismal seasons.

The once great Green Bay and now Oneida Nation Packers (not that I have anything against Native Americans...it's just the local Oneida's "business" with the Packers I object to) think they're a lock for the division championship this season. I think that is even more premature than my elated celebration overFavre's return to Minnesota. All the media spin in the world hasn't changed the opinions of the faithful and informed people of this city, a city which remains extremely divided. This despite the bought and dearly paid for efforts of Ari Fleischman, former president (thank God THAT's over) Bush's spokesman and his team of public relations "fixers" hired to "handle" the outcry in Green Bay and reconstruct the Packers' image after Brett was so shamefully shown the door. Not so easy, and with less than desired success. (Please note above statement re season tickets.)

We, many who were devoted to the Packers before the current effing coach was even born, do not forget OR forgive that kind of treatment of a man who gave his heart, soul, body and blood to what used to be OUR TEAM and has now degenerated into some kind of bastardized entity run just like every other NFL franchise. We remember that Favre donated much time and money to the city and surrounding communities and still does. I live a short couple blocks from a beautiful new park/first class baseball field donated by Favre, and it's just one of many. He treated his team and the fans with respect for so many years before the new (mis)management of the Packers came on board to oversee his untimely and unnecessary exit from Green Bay. They treated Favre like a third-rate free agent. The man, in addition to his stellar play and physical and emotional sacrifices, had even given up money on his own contract in order to build a better team--a singularity as far as I know in the NFL. All this in favor of a boy whose biggest decision each week is focused more on which facial hair style he will favor rather than improving his play under pressure. I suppose "switching it up" now and then does help him with his....negotiations with Packers management (gag) but it does nothing for me. I think he's a disgusting brown-noser and he is without a doubt incredibly ungrateful to a generous mentor. He gives lip service (take that how you will) when asked directly about what he feels he owes Favre, but it didn't keep him from stabbing Favre in the back at his first opportunity. I have SO much more respect for Minnesota's Tavaris Jackson, who said the following regarding Favre's expected return, "I feel like if my number's called I'm going to be ready, and I'm going to continue to try to work hard and get better. That's all I can do." What a great, and constructive, team oriented attitude. If only Boy Rodgers (the true narcissist in this situation) had so much, well, team spirit, rather than looking out only for number 12 (a number he does NOT deserve to wear as a Packer after Lynn Dickey did). No WAY did the Packers make such a disastrous decision about Favre without some kind of ultimatum from their new "golden boy."

All the uninformed (and jealous) sheep who follow every word from the media as if it's fact (OMG what a JOKE) absolutely have the wrong person (I will not say man) pegged as the primo uomo in this situation...prima donna being a female term of course...then again, hmmm.... Seriously, do people make ANY effort to inform themselves before making a decision? Oh wait, I know the answer to that one...never mind.

Anyway, to Mr. Favre, God bless him, and Minnesota fans, old and new, I can only say congratulations, and let the games begin!

On Poor Sandra

Well... Apparently Popeater found my comment too lengthy to print, and I hate to waste all my hard work, so here are my thoughts on the whole Sandra Bullock/Jessie James thing.

What red blooded woman in the U.S. wasn't raised, by intent or by watching the utter bored staleness of her own parents' sham of a marriage, to be attracted to the Bad Boy? We have ALL taken a bite of that apple unless we have zero body fat percentage and thereby no sex drive (yes, people--skinny women do not crave sex as much as their more curvy or athletically built counterparts--it's hormones, not Hollywood that decide that one). But I digress. We see in "him" what we want to be ourselves but have been raised NOT to, under any circumstances, because "it's just not lady-like" but we long for it, to be free, tough, mouthy (meaning actually SAYING what you think rather than just thinking it and hoping glaring at someone hard enough will suffice)--that "F-you if you can't take a joke" attitude, and the danger...mmmm baby, the danger! Adrenaline high anyone?

Then what is the very first thing we do once we are "with" him, officially I mean, not just for funsies.

We immediately try to domesticate the guy. Now seriously, I don't care who you are or how much money you have. It's NOT gonna happen. Never. Ever. Not without surgical intervention anyway. I don't care how beautiful you are, how good you are at any number of open minded sex acts, how successful you are (in fact that one often works against you, along with loads of money) or how many changes of life you go through trying to keep the guy interested. One woman is NEVER going to satisfy a high testosterone man--which is basically what a bad boy is. You either take him as he is or become a one woman prison system--intercepting every call, checking all his various online activities, going through his wallet, calling to check up on him, scanning the credit card receipts--secretly following him--all things that some guys find perversely appealing, but which is just too effing exhausting to maintain for the long haul and just too demeaning for many of us to even CONSIDER doing. If his ego is that fragile, the relationship is just gonna be one long mind fuck anyway.

So, as much as I detest what the guy did to "America's Sweetheart" (personally I don't see it... but that's just me) I have to say she was old enough to see that ALL coming from miles away, and she 1. got involved with him anyway and 2. took the ridiculous risk of leaving him home and unattended. It was certainly over from that point, and most likely long before that because you can never fully trust any bad boy under 75 or so (and thanks to Viagra, probably not them either). He probably loves her to death...but he just has this "itch" he has to scratch...hormonally and psychologically. Maybe his mommy didn't breast feed him, or if she did, she didn't do it long enough, or maybe he's just an infantile PRICK who doesn't care about anyone but himself (something we found SO charming in the beginning).

It is a shame she had to be humiliated in public as she was, and at such a stellar point in her career, but she CHOSE to spend that time ON her career, doing that movie, instead of doing him. Sorry ladies, but as a woman I have to be honest. He's not the only person who made mistakes in that relationship.

And as for the bimbos? The world is full of brainless vultures all too eager to start pecking at the corpse of a dying relationship. They're attracted to carrion and have a 6th sense for finding it...not that most men are exactly subtle in making their needs known. The only consolation is that the carrion feeders always end up as living illustrations that you are what you eat. Always.

On The Alleged Horrors of Natural Substances

I've been hearing much of late about the evils of natural substances, you know the ones provided by Mother Nature, not Big Pharma. I tend to wonder just what motivates these writers; given the most recent "anti-natural" rant was on some financial page I was directed to by my AOL welcome screen. Doctors usually get a nice trip to a "conference" somewhere tropical or where the skiing is nice and where little if any time at all is actually spent in conference related activities...and by gosh the WHOLE FAMILY gets to come, too! I wonder what a financial writer gets...and just what experience, expertise or authority he or she perceives to be speaking from. (Sorry about the preposition at the end of the phrase, Mrs. Wagler, but I just can't seem to break that habit.)

Most alternative meds/remedies/substances, whatever you wish to call them, are time tested, and I'm talking hundreds to even thousands of years of positive outcomes here, and come with a clear warning stating they should not be used unless under the direction of a naturopath or physician well versed in homeopathic medicine. Increasingly main stream doctors are becoming quite adept at prescribing these valuable and natural substances in a safe and effective manner. For those with little or no insurance they can be a relatively inexpensive alternative (and thereby very threatening to the pharmaceutical industry, which is racing to create their own "brands" of the very substances they are damning in the press.) Doctors who have added natural/holistic aspects to their practice have come to realize that while they may not be receiving as many trips to the Riviera Maya or whatever thinly veiled kickback the pharmaceutical companies are offering for pushing their drugs, their patients are benefiting...and believe it or not SOME doctors actually still care about patient outcomes. Shocking, I know, but as old fashioned as that may sound I have seen it now and then in my own practice as a BSN and as a consumer as well.

Many naturally occurring substances work as well if not better and certainly with less deadly side effects than some virtually unregulated "generic equivalent" medications from third world nations (or even here) with questionable practices, inconsistent product strength, cheap and even unhealthy "carrier" substances to add bulk to the medication, and mold, feces, and other undesirable filth everywhere. Your pharmacist will tell you which ones to avoid if you have an honest, educated and current pharmacist. Anyone who knows anything about medicine and health care would never allow their dog to take medications from many of these "generic manufacturers", much less anyone in their own family. So scaring would-be consumers with bogey man imagery and vastly exaggerating the HORRIBLE side effects of simple, natural, time honored remedies may please America's corporate masters, but the fact of the matter is that natural substances are every bit as safe and effective and far less likely to kill people when taken under proper supervision than many if not most DRUGS. Case in point-antidepressants, specifically SSRIs like Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, Luvox, Prozak and Celexa and their generic equivalents have carried strongly and clearly stated warning labels in Europe for many years, and rightly so. The same warnings are appearing here in the states at a snail's pace. In fact we are only beginning to include "young" adults (how's that for nonspecific?) in the "at risk" group, when study after study indicates substantially increased suicidal ideology and suicide risk for all ages. And let me be very clear here. Each of these studies allows for the fact that depressed people have a higher rate of suicide than the population at large, and the increase when these drugs are added is over and above the "norm" for ALL AGES.

Of course this is exacerbated by the fact that anyone with prescribing privileges can prescribe these meds, and they do, excessively, and then fail utterly in the follow-up and counseling of at risk individuals. Unsupervised or under supervised usage is not a factor only in natural products, but in drugs as well. Doctors have so little time per patient that they throw pills at everyone they see and promptly forget them until the next crisis arises-depending upon someone already under extreme psychological duress to self regulate and report back to them-when and IF they can get through the gauntlet of automated phone messaging and ignorant if not downright abusive nurses (yes I'm a nurse, but some office nurses do NOT deserve their licenses) which stand between patient and doctor! I have some experience with the subject and I have lost a brother to suicide under these exact circumstances.

These drugs are so often a double edged sword. The medications that make many depressed people feel better can wreak havoc with someone who is bipolar, and precious few family practice doctors, internists or even psychologists (who do not prescribe, but report and recommend to a nurse-prescriber or psychiatrist who sees the patient very briefly if at all) are equipped to pick up on the nuances separating bipolar hypo mania from depression. I won't go into the neuro-chemistry here, but inhibitions are also lowered in many people on these mind altering drugs, so not only do you have the suicidal ideology, but you are also tampering with the very mechanisms that prevent non-medicated individuals from acting on impulse, with disastrous results.

Another major group of medications that can cause more harm than good are those used to treat gastric reflux. They dangerously raise LDL cholesterol (the bad kind) in many people, people for whom diet and life style changes would be perfectly effective, along with something natural to decrease the flow of acid into the esophagus. Unfortunately this class of drugs are prescribed like candy. Moreover, many of those who survive them also end up on statin drugs (because of the artificially high LDL cholesterol caused by the anti reflux drug of choice) which irritates the stomach, thus creating and keeping in motion a vicious cycle in which one drug is used to cancel out the side effects of another. Meanwhile the money keeps rolling in for big pharma. so they can keep pumping out ads telling people how sick they are and give step by step directions on how to get doctors to prescribe their products.

The drugs I've mentioned are just three of the most common examples, and there are many, many more. So when life style and diet won't work, I'll at least try natural substances every time over a pharmaceutical drug if I can. They often don't give the immediate fix so important to society today, but given time they do work when used properly with supervision. Knowing that, I will continue to use them as a first choice and rest easy knowing I'm doing what's best for my body and my mind.

Warning: Adult Topic "Pussy Pumps"

Okay, I'm probably going to hate myself for getting into this, but here goes anyway~in the spirit of my duty as a health care professional of course. I was on Lemondrop™ and much ado was
being made about a new "marital aid" called the pussy pump. Now you may want to ask "Why pump up a pussy?" You might just as well ask "why do many women crave oral sex before intercourse?" It really IS all about the blood flow. Of course it makes a difference, in precisely the same way penis pumps (or medications or other more natural means of bringing blood flow to the male member) make a difference for males with erectile dysfunction. We're actually talking apples and apples here. The clitoris, after all, is the same tissue as the penis, only it shows as a nub up top then extends beneath the pubic bone structure down into the anterior vagina (what some call the g-spot). The more engorged this tissue is, the more responsive a woman can be and the more pleasure, ostensibly, both partners will have. The one thing the pump lacks which oral sex provides is the testosterone bath a woman receives from a man's hormone laced saliva. Wonder why women crave kissing as well as oral pleasuring before intercourse? TESTOSTERONE! We don't make much of it ourselves, and through our contact with you yummy men...and I do so mean that literally...we become more sexually charged through your sharing of your hormones. So generous of you! That is also a reason why mutual monogamy rules! NO CONDOMS! ...which means of course that the woman is receiving "injections" of testosterone too, either orally, vaginally or.. well you know, and if you don't, THAT is not a subject I have any desire to provide life coaching on aside from saying don't knock it until you try it. There is another benefit to this hormone sharing ladies; the more you have sex, the more you want it! Your testosterone levels rise, and thereby so does your sex drive. Voila! And guys, the more you pleasure your woman the way she desires the more you will ultimately be rewarded by more frequent sex! It's a true win-win situation! Side note to the ladies: swallow. Don't waste the good stuff~what you can't swallow, rub in somewhere. I'm serious here. What many of us have done without really thinking about it since becoming sexually active actually has a scientific purpose, so no need to feel like a ...an um.. well... you fill in the name here if you want, but you don't need to refer to yourself as one of "those" unless you enjoy it. : ) What you are is a natural! You get more testosterone and ultimately a better sexual kick for yourself, as well as making your man's eyes roll even farther back in his head. You've also probably motivated him to keep giving you what you need as well...so as long as the rest of the relationship is healthy, you're both good to go, and go, and go again!

Hope I've been helpful. I do so like to be a good nurse.

On the NFL MVP

So Mr. PC won the MVP this year. One can only wonder--what great obstacle did he overcome? His own vestige of a conscience when he SAT when he should have played? What miracles did he perform, what age barrier did he break, what ANYTHING amazing, new, inspirational or even thought provoking did he do? Did he REALLY deserve this honor more than Brett Favre, the media scapegoat, the man the "color" sportscasters just LOVE to hate because he is SO much better than them? (hi Troy et al) Just what is being rewarded here, being a "good dog" and sitting on command? Well in that case, congratulations, Mr. MVP, here's your doggie biscuit. Personally I agree with the writer of the following: Manning, Others Need to Follow Favre -- NFL FanHouse#c24502111#c24502111